Metro Transit

Today I decided to attend the next Emo Convention of America.

I went to the last one and had a great time.

I met a guy name Ronaldo and we totally hit it off.

By hitting it off I meant that he slapped me in the face with his spanish penis.

This time I hoped that I'm able to meet him again.

This time though I had to take the bus.

Ughhhh the bus.

The bus doesn't like emo people for some reason.

Everytime I stand there waiting for the bus to stop the bus driver's always pissing on me and when the bus takes off the people stick their dicks out the window and pees on me.

Even the ladies try to piss on me.

My parents can't drive me this time because dad is due on his "big people movies" and he's going to watch them all for the last time.

Mom on the other hand is working again for the 9th time today. She said that she needs to pay for her 7th condo in Taiwan.

So I stepped on the bus covered in piss again.

The bus driver looked at me and said "WHIPE THAT MASCARA OFF YOUR EYES YOU SISSY"

then the old lady in the front seat got off her seat, and then smacked me with her purse really hard.

I could tell she filled her purse with bricks.

I saw her loading them up when I was paying for the transfer.

Everyone kept pissing on me til their piss tanks stopped.

Then a friendly face got on the bus that didn't want to piss on me.

He was slightly bald, wearing glasses, and was wearing a red vest.

He was very moldy looking too.

He sat next to me and was smiling at me.

I smiled back at him too.

Finally I got to make a friend.

A friend before the convention.

Yayyy.

Then out of no where he grabbed my arm.

He was rubbing it very softly and was breathing very very hard.

I was kind of stunned.

Usually what people grab from me is something a bit different.

He looked at me in the eye then looked at my arm again and was rubbing it.

He was hurting me because he was rubbing over my scars.

I teared a little and it mixed with the strangers urine.

I have never felt t his kind of abuse before in my life.

I told him to stop.

He didn't hear me.

I yelled it out even louder.

The lady up front told me to OSHUTTHEFUCKUP.

I was really really scared.

Then the guy moaned and sat up and left.

I fell into the fetal positoin and was calming myself.

Never have I felt this kind of abuse before ever in my life.

Then he went back and pissed on me.

Ohh that Emmily again

Ohh that Emmily.

She's always textin and textin and textin regardless that her 80's brick phone doesn't even have letters printed on the buttons

.

Ohh that Emmily.

She's bought herself a new stuffed animal that doesn't look like an animal at all and in fact looks a bit kind of like the yard gnome my daddy uses to stroke on sunday evenings.

Ohh that Emmily.

She's prancing around the school trying to get attention even though you can barely see her due to her Attention Height Deficit Disorder.

Ohh that Emmily.

She's being visited by Professor Xavier because he thinks she's a mutant for having 4 eyes.

Ohh that Emmily.

She just burnt the stir fry again.

Ohh that Emmily.

Watching her little nerdy nerd shows which nerds watch because she's a little nerdy nerd herself you FREAKING NERDY NERD NERD NERD. (i watch them too. but i'm emo so it's cool.)

Ohh that Emmily.

She decided not to take the pill. Whoops.

Ohh that Emmily.

She just hit herself with the racket again.

Ohh that Emmily.

SHE JUST LOST THE GAME AGAIN.

That facebook

So I was on facebook today talkin to Janice Dullivan.

Errgghhhhh that Janice.

She like, totally always starts convos on me in facebook. Like seriously.

She talks about alot of stupid stuff too.

Last time she talked about how she very much enjoyed her summer job working for the That One Scout Camp Place.

She kept bragging about how she'd always bend over whenever she wants and how no one tells her to bend over whenever she didn't want to.

Which is funny because she'll bend over whenever she wants to anyways.

This time she's talking about Mason Pox and how she's at his house because she was outside again working for mother and Mason picked her up.

Janice told me mother won't be home for a very long time because tonight's the night when she works with 7 clients at once. which is 1/2 a client more than usual.

Janice was telling me how she's having fun on Mason's computer while he's trying to snort the 6 foot line of powdered milk.

Mason could only afford the powdered milk because he wasted the 12 dollars on Janice.

Apparently Mason said it was worth it because he needed the Calcium anyways.

In the end Janice said she had to go.

I said alright.

Janice said "I *abusedword* YOU.

I replied saying wut.

She said "You fucking heard me. I *abusedword* YOU.

I was shocked.

I was very shocked.

I pulled the drawer next to me to grab the knife.

Then I hesitated and put the knife back in.

She told me to say it back to her or she'll keep bothering me.

My emo sweat is overtaking me and whiping out my makeup so I typed it down really fast.

"I *ABUSEDWORD* YOU TOO."

Janice typed her little giggle she does.

hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe.

Then I logged off.

two minutes later I got a text message saying someone tagged me in a photo.

I logged back in again.

Janice took a picture of our chat and posted it online for everyone to see.

The words underneath the picture was

"ANDY MY SUGA DADDI DUN B FUKIN WIT HIM"

My emo sweat got even worse.

I noticed Janice signed off.

And Mason was signed on.

Later I got a phonecall from Mason.

Mason was very angry that I spoiled Janice for him and wasted his 12 bucks.

He said he wants his money back and I'm gonna have to pay it back for him.

I shrugged and went into my mom's 6th purse and took 12 dollars from her giant roll of green toiletpaper with faces on it.

Later that night Janice texted me again saying she abused word me.

I grabbed the knife again after that.

New years

Yay!

It's the brand new year!
YAYYY!!!!

I finally get to spend time with friends today.

By friends I mean me, myself and I.

We've been friends for quite a while now.

I've know them for ever since that I've remembered when I have had learned grammar in englesh classses.

I'd spend time with my parents but father's in prison and mother's with her clients again.

Father's in jail because he thought it was cool posting up a vid of me showering with him in the bathroom.

The cops arrested him the next hour because a kid getting a golden shower from my father was a really horrifical crime.

I didn't see anything wrong with that.

 I've been thirsty for the past 4 weeks ever since the toilet and sink busted and father washed his hands in the water cooler.

Was nothing wrong with brown water really, I really like brown things. Especially brown men. HEHE.

Mother was out with her clients again.

She's been seeing her clients 6-8 dozen times a day.

She'd come home with her hair messy and whiteout all over her shirt.

I'd come up to her and ask her if she needs help getting rid of the whiteout, but she'll yell at me and say 

"STFU CHICKEN PUSSY INSPECTOR".

During the new years, Me, Myself, and I were playing twister naked.

It was really fun because I was winning the whole time.

I think the neighbor was winning too when he was staring out the window at the time.

I started watching old episodes of the OC with them later, except we were making out with each other.

It was really fun because I got most of the action the whole time.

I think it was fun for the neighbor too when he invited his friends to stare at us.

Later on Me Myself and I started to bake cookies and we were jerking off on the cookies to create frosting.

It was a blast because I made the most frosting out of everyone else.

I think it was a blast for my neighbors and his friends too when they started trying to break in the door.

Later on Me Myself and I started sniffing something dirty. Something really dirty.

We turned around and saw Janice and Emmoar.

Janice was as nappy as ever because she was almost half asleep.

Emmoar got a total makeover since last time I saw her get oiled and burned up by the sun.

She looked darker than last time.

Every time she waddles her skin crackles lackles.

I like that.

It turned me on everytime she shakes dem sexxxyyyy asss hips.

Janice was like

"HEHEHEHEHE HELLO ANDY.

I HERD U WERE HAVIN A NEW YEARS PARTY BY YERSELF SO I INVITED EMMOAR N ME OVA TO PLAY N STUFFS."

I slapped her.

I slapped her real hard across the face.

I told her that I was with Me Myself and I and if she can't see that she has to leave me alone before I cry again.

Then she said

"HEHEHEHE DUN CHU WORI ANDI, ME N EMMOAR R HUR TO MAK IT SUPA FUN!"

Emmoar was breathing really hard and said

"YEAH."

I quickly rubbed on Emmoar and she slapped me.

She called me a perv.

But I saw how she slapped me.

She slapped my crotch.

But it wasn't really a slap.

She kinda groped it for 1/2 a second and letted go again and made my junk jiggle and wiggle all about.

I know she wants me furreals.

I took her hand and went upstairs to my bedroom.

She was really nervous and asked me what was going on.

I told her to SHUSH and told her that I'm going to be as gentle and as delicate as an electric hammer nailling a thumbtack to a poster.

I told her to close her eyes because I was going to sexify the room.

She closed her eyes.

Then I started throwing dead flowers that I kept from the closet all over the place and I started spraying cheap axe spray everywhere.

I quickly got my pants down.

I left my shirt on though.

It's my favorite shirt.

I got it from Cold Topic.

I was going to tell her to close her eyes but then I forgot to light candles.

I quickly litttid some candles and told her to open her eyes.

She opened her eyes and started screaming.

I started rubbing her thighs and asked her what's wrong baby.

Then I forgot that she wasn't allowed hot stuff because she might blow up again.

Janice broke down the door and started cussing at us.

I totally forgot about her sick obsession with me.

Janice was like

"EMMOAR YOU BETCH. YOU KNOW HOW ANDY IS ALL MINES!"

She then tackled Emmoar out the window.

Alluvusudden Emmoar turned into a GIANT FIREBALL and crashed into the ground.

I looked out really excited and jumped out with them, penis first.

I think my neighbors were excited too when they witnessed the first fireball sex orgy ever.

Familia dinero

my  mom and dad and me ate dinner together

we hardly ever eat dinner together

because daddy always comes home drunk at 6 AM

and mommy always has to go visit John Redcorn for her massages

idk why she goes for the massages

but theres always ranch dressing on her mouth when she comes back.

sometimes its in her shirt too but I never say anything about it because I'm afraid it might embarass her.

My mommy made me cook because she can't cook because grandma never taught her.

Apparently it was illegal to give out handjobs in bangcocks and you get your hands chopped off if you do.

I took some hot pockets and put it in a pot and boiled it until it simmers, then I threw in some grape flavored koolaid in there to add in a kick. Everyone likes grape flavored koolaid.

My mom and dad were argueing about which is better Comcast or Direct TV.

Which is pretty normal because they were argueing who was better, a round eraser or a circle eraser two weeks ago.

My daddy said,

"YOU FUCKIN TRAMP. OF COURSE COMCAST IS BETTER BECAUSE IT'S GOT HIGH QUALITY SERVICE AND IT GOT THAT INTERNET TOO"

then mommy replied you,

"ARE YOU FUCKIN RETARDED? DIRECT TV GOT THAT INTERNET, PHONE, AND THAT TV. YOU MUST BE ON SOMETHIN RETARTICLE"

daddy then said,

"GOD, YOU GOTTA BUNDLE WITH QWEST FOR THAT SHIT. FOR COMCAST YOU AINT GOTTA EVEN BUNDLE WITH NO ONE ELSE, YOU JUST GETTIN COMCAST. THAT SHITS PRETTY COOL"

I got terrified.

I didn't kn ow what to do.

If they keep screaming like this, my flan will burst!

mommy got angry and took the boiling pot I had set up convientlylky right next to them and she threw it at daddy.

Daddy screamed out loud and started cursing out random shitznizzles.

He threw everything on the groudn for no apparrent angry reason whatsoever and he lied on top of it and rolled over onto the ground back to where he was standing because he couldn't really see because he got blind and shit from the fuckin boiling water that I added that grape flavored koolaid to. Everyone knows grape flavored koolaid is kickass. I think my daddy couldn't take the grapejuice. It's kickassness is too powerful for him.

Suddenly his skin started to rot and peel off, then the whole table was covered in blood and rancid body guts were spilling out of his anus hole.

Mommy started screaming because she's on parole and she was told not to do this kind of stuff.

She grabbed me and threw me into the car and drove off.

I was surprised because she didn't lock the door at all.

She always tells me to lock the door because last time I didn't lock the door, someone ended up fucking my pet cat in the throat and we got sued becuase apparently cats have teeth and it bit off the man's penis.

I started crying

My tears streaming down my cheek and into my hard nipples

I begged my mom to turn back because I forgot to get my brownies out of the oven.

She slapped me and said

"FUCK YOU AND YOUR BROWNIES BITCH. I AINT GOIN BACK TO JAIL AGAIN SO STFU"

She got into a hill that's perched above an orphanage full of mute kids who recently got a donation for cellphones.

she backed up the car a little bit and she was about to drive off.

I told my mom that I don't wanna die yet because I haven't done the things that I've neevr done before even though I pretty much did all the things I wanted in the last 84 blogs I've written.

she looked at me and said,

"I TOLD YOU TO STFU YOU LITTLE CHICKEN SHIT EATER"

she pushed me off the car and she drove off the hill herself.

Apparently the kids tried to call 911 to get help because they forsaw the whole thing themselves because if your mute, you get the ability to SEEEEE into tha future.

But too bad all the cops didn't hear anything.

Mowing the lawn

I woke up to a splash of toilet water in my face

I knew it was toilet water because it wasn't the first time i tasted it

my mother woke me up.

"Nigga, the fuck you doin sleepin at five in the morning. Get cho lazy ass out and cut the fuckin lawn."

I smiled.

What I liked more than cutting my wrist is cutting the grass.

"Cho daddy gonna help you out, so whipe that smile off yo face"

I frowned.

Father never letted me do anything by myself in this house

ever since I tried to replace a lightbulb by myself and I accidently burnt my hand with a 3.21381286527 degree burn.

my father was very unhappy, because that was my stroking hand.


my father came in my room with his stretchy sweat pants and his xxl muscle shirt

"Common boy, yerrr gonna mow the lawn today"

yipee.

It was 95 degrees out

I wore all black like I always do and then it felt like 16923 degrees.

I was sweating so much, i ran out of spit

I started sweating saliva

Then I sweated stomach acid

After that I sweated urine

Then lastly I sweated booty juice.


My parents couldn't afford a good lawn mower like any other average caucasian family can so my parents bought scissors.

i like scisors, because I can see the grasses bleeed.
you usually don't hear about glasses bleeding
but you can see it
only if you believeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

I cutting the grasses, fulfilling my fantasy of being able to cut someone if they trust me enough one day, when suddenly my dad came up to me asking to cut next

i stared at him with tears in my eyes, which is weird because why should've sweated all of my tears away

how could he be so cruel?

he knows i love cutting things

i love cutting things more than i do going to a bloodbank everyweek to get blood donated by strangers and end up bleeding it up in vain

how could he take away one of the fewest things that can give me pleasure?

doesn't he give me pleasure enough every monday tuesday saturday wednsday thursday and friday? (not sunday, that's gods day)

I was devestated.

I took the scissor

i closed my eyes

and plunged it into the chest

i felt blood all over my hands

hmmmmm bloood *drooolizzles*

i love it when other people bleed

it's one of those things i love that is above loving to cut grass

but i smelt a stench

a familiar stench

i opened my eyes

i looked to see that my dad was staring at me with a "WTF" face

i looked at myself and realized i stabbed myself on accident.


one hour later i got rushed to the hospital to get stiches

an hour after that I went to the blood bank to get new blood

an hour after that, it repeats.

Buying Mr. Sharpie

I was sad today.

I found out the 'friends' I have aren't really my friends.

Ronney said he used me so he could see my mother shower naked.

Hank said he used me because he needed someone to make him look cool.

Jeremy said he used me because he wanted to download free pornography on my computer.

Alyssa said she used me because she needed someone to see which tatoo she thinks look cool
which explains the tatoo of a naked guy on my back name Pedro Garcia.

My mom says she used me so she can get her sadistic pleasure of hitting me with any object in the room.

I'm sad and alone.

I decided I need a companion, one who isn't ronney, hank, jeremy, alyssa, or my mom.

I walked to petco and decided i wanted a doggy.

I saw a nice german shepard and was petting it.

I was thinking of naming him Mr. Doodles

It bit my pinkie finger off.

ohhhh how i love that finger.

a petco worker walked up to me and said, "The fuck is you doin to that poor dog? I oughta open the cage and let him rip yo ass apart, stupid ass white boy"

So I walked to the cat section and saw a nice fluffy white cat and was petting it.

I was thinking of nameing her Kit Kat Bars.

She scratched my veins out and splashed all the blood everywhere on the floor.

A petco worker walked up to me and said, "The fuck you doin to that poor cat? I oughta open the cage and let her pussy ass rip you apart, dumbass cuttin yo wrist lookin boy"

So I walked to the fish aisle and saw a nice clown fish and petted it.

I was thinking of nameing him Mr. Sharpie.

Before Mr.Sharpie violently spits it's acidic poison into my eye causing me internal permanent eye damage, the manager walks up and said, "Look here, I don't want you fucking up my pets. I been hearing that you were gonna eat the poor things, piss in their mouths, and shave their fur to sell in the black market from my employees. PICK A GODDAMN PET AND GET THE FUCK OUT."

So I took mr. sharpie and walked out.

I was the most happiest emo boy in the world.

Then sharpie drowned himself to death.